Should I take my mother out of my life?

Question

How to put this.. I'm currently 19 living with my dad, and well you could say my mother isn't a good person at all. My parents divorced when I was in kindergarten and I continued to stay with my mother till I 5th grade. Throughout those years I was abused, I was physically, abused, and till this day I still have post-trauma issues with my past. My mother ****** my life up completely; I would have anger issues, I'd lie to my father, and even now I still struggle in school, as if I'm still have a mind of a fourteen year old. Basically, I was like my father, which my mother hated. She'd always try to brainwash me to believe that my father's side of the family was horrible, and that my father cheated on her (my mother). And well when I was in 5th grade I finally told my mother off, and told her everything, and after that I moved out and went to live with my dad. It was hard for me to even think of my mother. Even after moving out of her house she remain the same. It was like she was stuck in the past and would constantly bring up how my dad a horrible person. Fast forward a few years, and recently I purchased my first car. As a child I remembered my mother and I opening up a credit union account which had about $3,000 back then which was about.. 10 years ago and she told me, When I'm 18 I'll have control over the account and can use it for college and whatever I need to use it for. So I called her recently asking if I could have the money that we've been saving, and she flat out lied to me claiming that my father had taken the money a while back, and she had to shut the account down. So I let it go for a while, and asked my father what was going on. He claimed he didn't take anything. So I called my mother again asking what happen to my account? And she claimed that this time my father "tried" to steal my money from the account, and that she brought it up with the manager of the credit union and was forced to shut the account down. Obviously she's lying. This all happen earlier this year around May. A few months later during the Summer, I was going to Japan for a vacation. And ever since the incident in May my mother has been avoiding me, and has made no effort to talk to me. I've made every effort, I've called her, left her voice mails and even told her I was leaving for Japan, and to call me back. When I arrived back home I checked my phone and I had 0 voice mails. So basically I think my mother hates me, or she's too ashamed to admit what happen. I was just wondering.. What do you guys think I should do? Should I keep her out of my life? I've been thinking about it for a very long time and it hurts, because I never really had a mom who loved and cared for me.

Answer 1

I think you've been through a lot and no one can really understand how you feel or blame you. This is something that happens a lot (no doubt about that), but its also unique to anyone who experienced it because everyone deals with it differently or been through it differently.

She may be your mother, but would you really have someone like that in your life? No, because no one deserved to be treated that way especially when you had no control over it. But it is your choice.You are all grown up now and you have to make the choices you think is fit for you and your future. If she is avoiding you and you made the effort to be in contact with her, then let it go. If she isn't meeting you halfway, then you can't do anything about it. What you can do is try and seek professional help.

About the money, if its not there, then it's not there. It's good you let it go because money may be important, but there are better things in life :)